covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
