my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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