some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We're too hungover to prance.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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