also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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