She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
