When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Someone signed my nipple.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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