I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
