i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
