i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
