Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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