took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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