I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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