You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
