You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
