that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
