I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
