I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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