I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
