no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
