i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize