its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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