i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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