Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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