She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
