i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
