i just sent this text using only my big toe
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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