I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
