when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
