A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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