The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
