yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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