yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
