I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Drunk is not a location!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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