Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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