dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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