My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
