I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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