I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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