and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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