I only kidnapped one of them. chill
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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