We won't sleep together?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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