The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
