well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
