You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
