dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
