Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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