I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
