once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
