is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
