Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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