I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
