high people should be assigned attendants
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
