I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love you.
Bad choice
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
