she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
