Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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