That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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