yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
