Small penises have feelings too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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