I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
